Dear 30lbs, At one point I thought I needed you to protect me from the world. I thought you were what I needed to make it through the day with just a shred of sanity. How little I knew myself. How little I knew what strength I held beneath your cover…behind your wall. I am grateful you gave me shelter and fed my fears. I am grateful you fought so hard to hold on—without the fight I don’t think I would have ever known what a wonderful woman was buried beneath your protection. I can’t say I am unhappy to see you go. I am actually quite relieved you have decided to bow out gracefully.
I stand looking at you and I feel sadness for all that your presence represents. My heart can
only hope to never see you again with your solemn, twisted sense of love. What you hold is not love—it is a weakness disguised and warped. Without you I plan on doing so much more than I ever thought I could, and for that very reason I am excited to see you go—yet I must admit…it does hurt a bit. You never meant any harm, that much I know. You never meant to keep me boxed in…your only intent was to protect me and shield me from what hurt and disappointment lay in wait. The thing is…I don’t really need you for protection. God shields me and protects me. The happiness and the joy I feel on an everyday basis will give me all the fight I need should I get hurt or disappointed. The fight I know is just bubbling on the surface is all I need to keep me strong through whatever trials may come. I am fully equipped to handle life without you and your extra baggage.
only hope to never see you again with your solemn, twisted sense of love. What you hold is not love—it is a weakness disguised and warped. Without you I plan on doing so much more than I ever thought I could, and for that very reason I am excited to see you go—yet I must admit…it does hurt a bit. You never meant any harm, that much I know. You never meant to keep me boxed in…your only intent was to protect me and shield me from what hurt and disappointment lay in wait. The thing is…I don’t really need you for protection. God shields me and protects me. The happiness and the joy I feel on an everyday basis will give me all the fight I need should I get hurt or disappointed. The fight I know is just bubbling on the surface is all I need to keep me strong through whatever trials may come. I am fully equipped to handle life without you and your extra baggage.
I stand here at this weird place bidding you ado and running into the direction of more happiness, peace and joy wondering what will become of me. I suppose now that you are gone I can continue to work on uncovering more of myself. Well, I suppose I should go now—I have some working out to do. Take care, 30. This will be the last time I ever see you.
The Runner
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