THE SYNDROME

 “Many of you ladies and gents will fall into what I like to call the ‘Tortoise and the Hare’ syndrome,”  the group leader of Beginners Runners Anonymous said nodding making her permed cloud of bottle blonde hair move on a 5 second delay .  Nancy kind of reminds you of one of those women who wear tapered leg jeans, Keds, and sweaters with those ridiculous Christmas ornaments. “You move much faster and don’t pace yourselves in the beginning.  By the end, you are just plum tuckered out. It is easy to go into that overload mode. We feel that gosh darn it, we are working out to build up our endurance so what’s the harm in trying to eat properly too. Now,” her mom ‘I mean business’ look covers the room and we all shift in our chairs, “that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t take our diets more seriously.  But if we take off outta the gate at full speed we’ll be takin’ a nap in the final lap.”

A lot of us get caught up in the whole ‘Tortoise and the Hare’ syndrome.  Most of us start out as hares and by the time we get to the middle of the race we need a rest—all the while those slow little turtles and their hefty shells come waddling past.  I found myself in that place very recently (like this morning).  I had to slap myself this morning because I kept flipping through my planner---which I, um, marked down all of my training days from now until July 4^th.  I know!  I’m a hare!

I mean, ok, so I have all of my training scheduled out from now until July 4^th and ok, so it took me like 3 hours to actually get it just right in my $4 Wal-Mart planner—but isn’t that what I’m supposed to do?  How can I possibly perform and be prepared if I do not make the proper preparations (yea, answer that! know-it-alls)? 

But I suppose it is that over planning and intensity that keeps me from seeing things like this to the end.  I keep trying to fix my diet and concentrate on my routine at the same time, and honestly that’s just dumb.  Like that’s ‘stamp a donkey’s ass on my forehead’ dumb.  Know how come I know that?  Because the minute I start trying to make conscious nutrition choices I feel myself slipping out of control—yet I’m in a rush to do it! 

I think in order for this thing to work out the way it’s supposed to, I have to take it one step at a time.   I have to slow down, strap on my shell, and waddle my way through the steps until I come out at the finish line.  I must become one with the tortoise (ommmmmm) and drop that flea and tick ridden hare like a bad habit.

The Runner