I Think I Can?

It happens to the best of us. We get ourselves into something we can’t quite squirm out of and we are faced with it at one point or another.  For some it causes anxiety attacks, others it requires multiple bathroom breaks, and for the rest of us the cage door opens and we get a terrifying case of the nerves. When this happens the immediate thought is “What the hell did I get myself into?” and the sweating of the palms, quickened pulse, and possible gas ensues.  Today…I found myself in this very situation (yes…gas and all—it seems to happen more and more as I get older. I was never the gassy nervous type) and even as I type this post I feel extremely nervous (and yea…gassy)—palms sweaty, room sorta spinning…well…tilting a bit and my stomach is full of butterflies.  The Peachtree is only 40 days (and counting) away and as of today, I don’t feel ready in the least bit (ummm…my arm is feeling a bit strange—a tad like Jell-o. That’s not normal is it?).

I can’t possibly back out, although that is what my quitter instinct is telling me to do. I want to…but I can’t. Damn it me and my big fat mouth. The blog, the twitter account, the friends, the relatives…I’ve spent the past few months just giggling and jumping up and down blabbing away to everyone, and now I feel stuck!  What to do? What to do? (can you tell I’m mentally pacing?)  I am going to be a part of a small news story about local people who are running the Peachtree…how would that look to be the girl who was training for it then quit because she got nervous and gassy?  Crap! (Ok, room is getting darker now and I’m burping. This is clearly not normal)

(Deep breath) I can do this, right?  I can continue to workout, run the race and make it to the end without being wheeled around on the Man Down cart.  I can most definitely do this. I can just put one size 10 in front of the other and move toward the finish line.  I can finish out my last week of Insanity (which has been pure hell by the way—for those interested) and move on to other training methods. I can. I can. I can.  Can’t I?  I can celebrate the fact that I’m going to complete a major goal I have wanted for years.  I can take in the fact that I have 1 month and 10 days to go, suck it up, and go harder. I can. I can. I can.  Why….hell yea! Of course I can!

The Runner